Jane "Kay" Shipman Fryar, 83, of Wilmington, NC and West Jefferson, NC, passed away peacefully on July 15, 2026, in Jefferson, NC. Innovative, industrious, and deeply loved, she was a woman who always left the world— and everyone she met—a little better than she found them.

Born on March 16, 1943, Kay graduated from New Hanover High School with the class of 1961. Her adventurous life took flight when she eloped with her husband, Max. As a dedicated Navy wife, she didn't just wait at home; she traveled the world with him. From New Delhi to Ottawa, Kay had a unique gift for seeing a need and stepping in to help, whether by organizing childcare co-ops for overwhelmed expatriate mothers or securing embassy jobs to help military spouses navigate foreign work permits.

After Max retired as a Master Chief Petty Officer, the family returned to Wilmington, NC, in 1986, where Kay began an extraordinary second career. She joined UNC Wilmington as an entry-level HR office assistant. Bringing her industrious spirit to the university, she designed its first automated applicant tracking system. Over 17 years, she earned numerous promotions, making history in 2003 as both the first woman and the first internally promoted employee to serve as UNCW’s Chief HR Officer. After retiring in 2007, she spent another decade consulting across the broader UNC system.

Beyond her remarkable professional legacy, Kay was the guiding light of her family. She loved the slow, patient art of knitting, and every blanket she created was a tangible manifestation of her love. She brought that same patience to raising her children, possessing a "superpower" for breaking down life's biggest problems and fears into manageable challenges.

Kay is survived by her devoted husband, Max; her sons, Max Jr. in Virginia Beach, VA and Kurt in Wilmington, NC, and her beloved grandchildren, Max III in Johor Baru, Malaysia and Giulia in Milan, Italy.

At Kay’s request, no formal services will be held. Her family will honor her memory privately and continue to cherish the warmth she brought to their lives. At Kay’s request, no formal services will be held. Her family will honor her memory privately and continue to cherish the warmth she brought to their lives.

Kay was so many things to so many people—a devoted wife, a loyal friend, a loving aunt, and a grandmother. But to us, she was simply Mom. She had an extraordinary ability to make both of us feel stronger, more confident, and ready to question the world around us. She taught us how to laugh through the hard times and love unconditionally.

She loved knitting—a slow art requiring patience, focus, and quiet detail. She could accept mistakes, unravel the yarn, and move forward without ever cutting corners. She took immense pride in finishing her creations and sharing them with others. Every blanket she made was a physical manifestation of her love—a tangible reminder that she was providing warmth and holding us in her thoughts. The care and practice of her knitting shone through in how she raised us. She had a superpower for analyzing any problem we faced and breaking it down into manageable, bite-sized pieces. That gift could take a terrible fear in a young child's mind and transform it into a challenge, or even an opportunity. Her wisdom and forethought were both the foundation and the guiding light for our family. But that superpower—that ability to look at a tangled problem, patiently unravel it, and weave together a solution—wasn't just reserved for us at home. It was the defining thread of her entire life.

Innovative, industrious, practical, inspiring, dedicated, and joyful. Kay was always one to make a difference—someone who left the world, and each of us, a little bit better than she found us. While most of us wrestle through one career, Kay had two distinguished ones, plus the half-life of a third. Her first began immediately after she eloped with Max to become a Navy wife. While many military spouses at the time stayed behind during deployments, Kay went with Max to see the world. From New Delhi to Washington D.C., Sardinia to Ankara, Charleston to Ottawa, Kay brought her time-tested strategy with her: she would walk into a new situation, see what needed to be done, and simply jump in and do it.

In India, noticing expatriate mothers overwhelmed and lacking support, she created a co-op childcare group—a solution she later replicated in Turkey. In Canada, recognizing that many military spouses were legally barred from working in the local economy, she sought out a job at the U.S. Embassy specifically so she could help them navigate the complex immigration requirements for work permits.

After Max retired as a Master Chief Petty Officer in 1986, they returned home to Wilmington. Kay took an entry-level office assistant job in Human Resources at UNC Wilmington, bringing that same industrious spirit with her. Entering a pre-internet world of paper applications and stubby pencils, Kay didn't accept the manual status quo. She designed and created UNCW’s first automated applicant tracking system, saving departments countless hours.

That game-changing innovation led to the first of several well-earned promotions. In just 17 years, Kay rose from an entry-level assistant to become UNCW’s Chief HR Officer in 2003—making history as both the first woman and the first internally promoted employee to ever hold the title. After retiring in 2007, she spent another decade as an independent consultant, helping smaller colleges across the UNC system implement complex HR frameworks they couldn't have managed alone.

Yet, while we celebrate these incredible professional milestones, her colleagues will tell you her true legacy wasn't in policies or timekeeping systems. What folks remember most is her kindness. Just as she did for us when we were kids, she had a unique knack for getting to the root of a complex issue, helping those in distress parse their problems into manageable pieces,

and collaborating to find the best outcome. She built immense trust across the campus. As one colleague beautifully summarized, "While Kay’s systems made a difference on many campuses, her focus was always on the individual. She was a mentor to many and always had time to listen and give the best advice."

Colleague, mentor, friend. She was someone who always cared, who led the way, and who always brought others along with her. We take time to cry today knowing how deeply we will miss her. But mostly, we take joy in the fact that she made our part of the world better, and she helped make us better human beings. We remember her with so much love, cherishing the time we were lucky enough to spend together.